World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale

Sir David Attenborough's view on Science & Religion - Life on Air

write away every day

I've been writing a lot on Demery Bader-Saye's blog write away every day. It's a great site where she gives you a photo prompt to get your creative juices flowing. Here are links to my entries, but give the others a look too cos there are some very good writers on there!!

slumbered
guaranteed
bugged
sheltered
powered
spent
found
parked
pined
howled
recycled
dispatched
yearned
found
unearthed
tasted

My One-Liners!!!

OK after bashing my brain I finally managed to hit a one-liner vein and these came to me in about 30 mins this morning. They are more likely to be candidates for the worst one-liner than the best.

Enjoy!

I woke up this morning staring in someone else window. I think I was stalking in my sleep.

I'm going on a package holiday next week. I'm posting myself abroad.


I've joined one of those pyramid schemes. My mummy convinced me.

I swapped the keys on my keyboard to see if it would help my Dyslexia. It qjusf.

Do colour-blind people get blue jokes?

I bought pills on the internet that help your memory. I dunno if they arrived yet.

I woke up this morning talking about black holes. I think I was Hawking in my sleep.

I was going to go to a motivation seminar, but then I, well you know.

Funny One-Liners

Yesterday I read what the funniest one liner from the Edinburgh fringe festival was. It was this.

"I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again."

Not too bad. But not great either. Not really my kind of joke. They also voted for the worst one liner. It was this.

"Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side."

The worst? That was FAR better! That is a great joke. Now maybe this says more about me than the competition or the entries themselves. Maybe it says I am a depressed individual or a sadist who likes to see other people (chickens?) suffer needlessly. But I think it was great.

It got me thinking though, I could write a better one liner than that.

So I started thinking.

And I thought.

And thought.

And I can't.

Not a single one liner came to me. Nothing. I was depressed. I was miserable. I even started to doubt myself and question my own identity. It was a bad few minutes.

But then I had a coffee and everything was good in the world again. Now if I was any good I would be able to finish this blog entry with a spot on one liner.

But nope. I can't think of them on the spot.

This Weekend? Next Weekend?

Please help me settle a long standing argument and answer the poll below...

I Forgive You.

Ok...I forgive you. I forgive you for leaving me. Back in May when you left me I didn't know what I would do. How would I get through the long summer days without you? I felt a void in my gut like it was carved out with a rusty knife. My life, my meaning was gone.

But yes, I will take you back. I will forgive you and I'm sure we can start to live for each other once more. But before we start, I have a confession. Well it's not really a confession as it was you who left me, so it's more of an admission. I think it's best to get these things out in the open before we try again.....

During the summer I had a fling. There, I said it. It was mostly on my holidays but it started before I went and finished a bit after I came back. She was foreign and although it was great fun and we shared some brilliant moments together, it just wasn't the same. She wasn't what I was used to. And she was also quite noisy too. But I suppose she helped me in a way. She helped me get over my terrible time from when you finished it in May.

Don't worry, about her though. It all finished a few weeks back (July 11th to be exact) and she will not be around for 4 years, but she did say her little sister will be visiting for the summer in 2012. Not that I am making a threat or anything. I'm just saying.

So we are here again. It seems like you love to annoy me, to tease me. With these meaningless, empty summers. But I will give things a chance. Maybe on Sunday we can have a trial run. It will be good if it goes well but if it doesn't well the fact that it happened might be good enough.

The Saturday after we can try for real. We can start to plan some regular time together and see if we can end on a bitter sweet high next May again. Sweet (hopefully) because of the triumph, and bitter because you will leave me again.

Chelsea for the Premiership!!!!!!!
Chelsea for the Champions League!!!!!!!
Chelsea for the FA Cup!!!!!!!